A Yielded Life Yields Much.
Ahh, here we are back again. So much has happened since Friday, I feel like it's been MONTHS! Saturday morning I went to the ER to do my first clinical for my EMT class. Didn't really know what to expect and ended up experiencing a whole spectrum of things! I don't think that I'll ever need to put a catheter in someone for emergency pre-hospital care, but definitely saw enough of those to know how to do that! One of the sadder things I witnessed, however, was a woman who had overdosed on a great quantity of prescription medicines. Found out later her son had committed suicide, and she wanted to die as well. I have never been exposed to someone who has over-dosed before. I got to help with her in the trauma room and do not know if she lived after being sent to ICU. It was heart-breaking and a reminder of the hurt and hopelessness that often surrounds us. Perhaps the most significant trauma patient I helped with was a young car accident victim. His arm was extremely mangled. The doctor called me over to his bedside to help lift up his arm (it took 3 of us two hands each to lift all the parts moving separately because of broken bones and lacerations). He was in so much pain I felt like someone was squeezing my heart. I could feel myself a bit shaky at first but then this determination to "do whatever I need to do to help" rose up. I held his hand with one of mine while I waited for the doc to give the okay to lift and prayed silently for God to ease his pain, and to touch his heart if he did not know Christ.
I used to wonder what I would do in a situation where something happened to someone medically; something severe, and I found out how, unfortunately, this past fall. Since starting my EMT class, I have wondered how I would deal with someone who was very seriously injured and in intense pain. I was a bit unsure if I could do that because one of the hardest things for me to do is see someone in pain, whether spiritual or physical. Which is why I find it very interesting that the people I'm drawn towards are those that are experiencing great amounts of pain. I think God gave me that passion because He wants to work through me to move through my shortcomings and hard areas. I'm being challenged in the very things that I didn't think I could ever handle...and I have this growing desire to master them with God's help. I am so grateful to have this training...I truly believe with all my heart there will come a day when I will use this in a way where God uses it as an opportunity to share His love and salvation.
Saturday night I preached at the prison. I shared my testimony, and also gave a min-sermon of sorts and an altar call, all totaling about 30 minutes. (I remember looking at the clock thinking, "but I have more to say! Lol.) It was so amazing what God did...I was so fired up after spending time with Him and just allowing Him to pour Himself into me and I just went in there with a heart to share. It's like when I stand up there God just takes over and talks. I didn't plan out what I would say, didn't bring any notes up with me...and not because I'm anything special but ONLY because God just got ahold of me so strongly that it was all in my heart...I didn't need anything else besides the Bible to share from. I can hardly remember all that was said, but God moved. A man came up after that I have known for a while. He is leaving soon and he told me that he was so taken by my love and passion for Christ at my young age. He said that he wants that-what I have, that passion and desire. And this is from a guy who is a Christian already. Isn't God awesome?! I was so humbled and encouraged and told him everything in me that is like that is all because of what Christ is doing and has done in my life and that He is no respecter of persons, and that he could also have what God has put in me!! 6 guys came forward that night to rededicate their lives or ask Jesus into their heart for the first time. I think I smiled ear to ear the entire drive home. :) WHAT A BLESSING that I got to be in the middle of what God was doing!
Then Monday rolls around. I have been praying for 2 roommates so I can keep living where I am, and so I can afford a car payment and get a newer car soon. Well, two girls contacted me Monday, praise God! And as if that wasn't enough, I got a message from some dear friends telling me they'd like to donate to my Guatemala trip. I won't say how much because I don't want to compromise their privacy, but it was a HUGE amount...half of what I had left to pay! WHAT A BLESSING!
When we make our business all about what God's business is, He starts moving in amazing ways. It's not that He was not moving before, or that He only loves and invests in our lives when we do what He wants...it's that when our heart is turned towards Him in that way, we invite Him in. He can only do so much in our lives when we tell him through our actions and the way we live, "I've got this, God. I don't really need you. Things will be much better my way." I know I'm guilty of this over and over again. When are eyes are turned to him, our lives laid down before Him, we allow Him to come in and move in the areas we held onto so tightly before. I recently made the decision to let go of someone in my life that is very dear to me and let God have complete control. In the past, when I could feel things spinning out of my control, I allowed it to push me to hold tighter to them, rather than to loosen my grip and allow God to have them. There is a freedom and release from letting God have our situations-our pain, our fears, our lives...I got so caught up in working so hard at keeping control of everything in my life that I ran myself ragged. I was drained physically and emotionally, and completely exhausted. It even started to snuff out my passions. But then I chose finally to let go of the situation and let God do what He wants in it. I still don't know all of what that is, but I'm learning to trust God when I can't see...and even more so, to trust Him when I'm afraid of the outcome hurting deeply. I guess in short I'm learning to rest completely in Christ and learning what it means to surrender and let him have ALL of me, and all of my heart. There is no greater joy or freedom than living a life of surrender to Christ. I know; it's a crazy paradox, but it is just absolutely incredible what He will do.
I used to wonder what I would do in a situation where something happened to someone medically; something severe, and I found out how, unfortunately, this past fall. Since starting my EMT class, I have wondered how I would deal with someone who was very seriously injured and in intense pain. I was a bit unsure if I could do that because one of the hardest things for me to do is see someone in pain, whether spiritual or physical. Which is why I find it very interesting that the people I'm drawn towards are those that are experiencing great amounts of pain. I think God gave me that passion because He wants to work through me to move through my shortcomings and hard areas. I'm being challenged in the very things that I didn't think I could ever handle...and I have this growing desire to master them with God's help. I am so grateful to have this training...I truly believe with all my heart there will come a day when I will use this in a way where God uses it as an opportunity to share His love and salvation.
Saturday night I preached at the prison. I shared my testimony, and also gave a min-sermon of sorts and an altar call, all totaling about 30 minutes. (I remember looking at the clock thinking, "but I have more to say! Lol.) It was so amazing what God did...I was so fired up after spending time with Him and just allowing Him to pour Himself into me and I just went in there with a heart to share. It's like when I stand up there God just takes over and talks. I didn't plan out what I would say, didn't bring any notes up with me...and not because I'm anything special but ONLY because God just got ahold of me so strongly that it was all in my heart...I didn't need anything else besides the Bible to share from. I can hardly remember all that was said, but God moved. A man came up after that I have known for a while. He is leaving soon and he told me that he was so taken by my love and passion for Christ at my young age. He said that he wants that-what I have, that passion and desire. And this is from a guy who is a Christian already. Isn't God awesome?! I was so humbled and encouraged and told him everything in me that is like that is all because of what Christ is doing and has done in my life and that He is no respecter of persons, and that he could also have what God has put in me!! 6 guys came forward that night to rededicate their lives or ask Jesus into their heart for the first time. I think I smiled ear to ear the entire drive home. :) WHAT A BLESSING that I got to be in the middle of what God was doing!
Then Monday rolls around. I have been praying for 2 roommates so I can keep living where I am, and so I can afford a car payment and get a newer car soon. Well, two girls contacted me Monday, praise God! And as if that wasn't enough, I got a message from some dear friends telling me they'd like to donate to my Guatemala trip. I won't say how much because I don't want to compromise their privacy, but it was a HUGE amount...half of what I had left to pay! WHAT A BLESSING!
When we make our business all about what God's business is, He starts moving in amazing ways. It's not that He was not moving before, or that He only loves and invests in our lives when we do what He wants...it's that when our heart is turned towards Him in that way, we invite Him in. He can only do so much in our lives when we tell him through our actions and the way we live, "I've got this, God. I don't really need you. Things will be much better my way." I know I'm guilty of this over and over again. When are eyes are turned to him, our lives laid down before Him, we allow Him to come in and move in the areas we held onto so tightly before. I recently made the decision to let go of someone in my life that is very dear to me and let God have complete control. In the past, when I could feel things spinning out of my control, I allowed it to push me to hold tighter to them, rather than to loosen my grip and allow God to have them. There is a freedom and release from letting God have our situations-our pain, our fears, our lives...I got so caught up in working so hard at keeping control of everything in my life that I ran myself ragged. I was drained physically and emotionally, and completely exhausted. It even started to snuff out my passions. But then I chose finally to let go of the situation and let God do what He wants in it. I still don't know all of what that is, but I'm learning to trust God when I can't see...and even more so, to trust Him when I'm afraid of the outcome hurting deeply. I guess in short I'm learning to rest completely in Christ and learning what it means to surrender and let him have ALL of me, and all of my heart. There is no greater joy or freedom than living a life of surrender to Christ. I know; it's a crazy paradox, but it is just absolutely incredible what He will do.
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