Live Each Moment...
In general, I think I think about death more often than the average individual. Don't misunderstand...I'm not suicidal or anything of the sort...I just wonder about it on pretty much a daily basis. I wonder about what things would be like if certain people in my life passed away, or if tragedy struck. I wonder what it would be like if it was my last day; what type of legacy I would leave behind and if my life would leave a mark. I wonder if I will live to be old or die right in the middle of my life, as I see it. I wonder about people I hear about that died...wonder if they knew, what their last thoughts were, what their regrets were, and think about how most of them never dreamed that day would be their last.
I'm not quite 30 yet, but that is about when they figure Jesus began his ministry/preaching "career" and spent the next 3 years doing so. That has always struck me-all that we read about in the Gospel, (and that is only what got recorded...you have to know there were countless other things that happened as well) happened in a span of 3 years. Wow...so that is what a life truly devoted to the work of Christ looks like-that is the type of mark it leaves. That challenges me. I don't want to look over my life with a list of "I wish"'s. I'll be honest...I have some regrets at this point in life. I have had some wasted time, done things I wish I hadn't and wish I could go back and change some of what I have done; but I realize that God, in His grace, will bring about what He has for my life as I follow Him, even if it is a windy road to get to me.
A student at school lost her young father yesterday to a heart-attack. We were all very familiar with this dad and he was a sweet, loving, caring, devoted father. I never imagined the last time that I saw him picking up his daughter would be the last time I see him alive. I wish I would have smiled more at him, looked him in the eye and said "hello" more often; but sometimes as I walked out of school with students in tow, I had my focus elsewhere and figured I'd say hello next time.
Life is too short to not smile and love...it is too short to not tell people that you care about them; too short not to hug with, laugh with, and cry with others. Though we often throw around the phrase, "life each day like it is your last!" We never really believe it is our last...we think it may be someone else's, but never our own. In Psychology, when adolescents consider themselves above the law/rules (that happens to everyone else, but not me...) it is tagged as "personal fable." We are still that way as adults. How many times after someone experiences tragedy have you heard them say, "I never thought it would happen to me..." I cannot tell you how many times I heard that working in Joplin. And is is always heart-breaking to deal with.
Today as I started the day, my heart was filled with joy that I know came straight from the Lord. I made it my job to put smiles on faces and laughter in mouths of students today, and it was the best day ever. I had so much fun with them and they wanted to give so many hugs...they knew they were cherished and loved, and it was just a sweet and special day. I plan on making every day like that because I never know how many days any of us have left. I have wondered what it would be like for them if I died...if one day, I just didn't show back up. Or God forbid, if something happened to one of them. I think about what that would be like and how we would go through it.
I become more aware every day of just how precious time is. When a day is gone, it is gone forever. I think about people in my life and how I would respond differently if I knew they would only be around for a short time longer, and then I wonder why I don't love them like that all the time. It is a good challenge; not that we imagine people in our lives maybe dying soon all the time, but that we recognize all our days are numbered and we live life like we know and believe that.
I want the mark of Christ on my life...I want to bring smiles to faces and joy to hearts. I want to feel alive to my core everyday. I want to be so full of hope that it spills into every life I come into contact with. I want people to wonder what is up with me being so happy all the time. I want to hug people who think they are unlovable. I want to tease and laugh with kids who don't have much to laugh about. I want to pray with people who are desperate. I want to hold children who haven't known love. I want to watch prisoners preach to inmates. I want to speak God's word to people around the world. I want to witness people set free from addiction. I want God to throw me right smack dab in the middle of what He's doing and use me as He desires. I want to love Him with full capacity and watch how He changes me. I want to impact the world for Christ, with each moment I have left. THAT is my heart's truest desire.
I'm not quite 30 yet, but that is about when they figure Jesus began his ministry/preaching "career" and spent the next 3 years doing so. That has always struck me-all that we read about in the Gospel, (and that is only what got recorded...you have to know there were countless other things that happened as well) happened in a span of 3 years. Wow...so that is what a life truly devoted to the work of Christ looks like-that is the type of mark it leaves. That challenges me. I don't want to look over my life with a list of "I wish"'s. I'll be honest...I have some regrets at this point in life. I have had some wasted time, done things I wish I hadn't and wish I could go back and change some of what I have done; but I realize that God, in His grace, will bring about what He has for my life as I follow Him, even if it is a windy road to get to me.
A student at school lost her young father yesterday to a heart-attack. We were all very familiar with this dad and he was a sweet, loving, caring, devoted father. I never imagined the last time that I saw him picking up his daughter would be the last time I see him alive. I wish I would have smiled more at him, looked him in the eye and said "hello" more often; but sometimes as I walked out of school with students in tow, I had my focus elsewhere and figured I'd say hello next time.
Life is too short to not smile and love...it is too short to not tell people that you care about them; too short not to hug with, laugh with, and cry with others. Though we often throw around the phrase, "life each day like it is your last!" We never really believe it is our last...we think it may be someone else's, but never our own. In Psychology, when adolescents consider themselves above the law/rules (that happens to everyone else, but not me...) it is tagged as "personal fable." We are still that way as adults. How many times after someone experiences tragedy have you heard them say, "I never thought it would happen to me..." I cannot tell you how many times I heard that working in Joplin. And is is always heart-breaking to deal with.
Today as I started the day, my heart was filled with joy that I know came straight from the Lord. I made it my job to put smiles on faces and laughter in mouths of students today, and it was the best day ever. I had so much fun with them and they wanted to give so many hugs...they knew they were cherished and loved, and it was just a sweet and special day. I plan on making every day like that because I never know how many days any of us have left. I have wondered what it would be like for them if I died...if one day, I just didn't show back up. Or God forbid, if something happened to one of them. I think about what that would be like and how we would go through it.
I become more aware every day of just how precious time is. When a day is gone, it is gone forever. I think about people in my life and how I would respond differently if I knew they would only be around for a short time longer, and then I wonder why I don't love them like that all the time. It is a good challenge; not that we imagine people in our lives maybe dying soon all the time, but that we recognize all our days are numbered and we live life like we know and believe that.
Alison, I miss you!! <3
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