5 Exaggerations I Was Told About Being A Mommy…
That being said, I've heard every snippet of advice you could imagine about being a mom (as most do when they are about to be a Mom). I was "warned" about many things as a recent article that went viral talked about. But I also came away, now looking back, thinking, "Why did so many people exaggerate? Is it a coping method? Does it make them feel better to exaggerate to me the negative things because they see my excitement? Are they unhappy? Well, truth be told, I don't really know, but I'd like to share 5 exaggerations I was repeatedly told during pregnancy and the first 6 months of motherhood, and what I truly think about them.
1. "You will never sleep again!" Um, yes... You will. Sleep is very low in the beginning; I'll admit, I've never been so tired in my life…not after working a 70-hour week, not after hiking crazy long, and not after an all-nighter…or not even all of those combined. Ha! NOTHING compared. BUT, that all starts to change. I think a lot of it has to do with your baby's personality and also with yours. If you start to ease them into a schedule and do some sleep training, chances are, they will start to sleep in a pattern. Typically, that is just how our body works. I have slept since I had a baby 6+ months ago. No, I can't just fall asleep when I please and sleep as long as I want, but I DO get sleep and I'm not dragging every single day. So am I am still tired and sleep deprived some days, but I most definitely HAVE slept since having a baby. For the record, I will say I know some moms, as hard as they have tried, have babies that will not sleep well. Just remember, nothing is forever. And even if you have a season of low sleep, it is different than NO sleep. Let the housework go. Eat cereal for dinner. Take a nap at 7 PM. Do what you need to. It will be okay.
2. "Oh just wait until you try to keep your house in order with kids…you will never be able to keep up with it" This one annoyed me. I love keeping my house clean and in order. And I have a drive to get things done that I really want to. It relaxes me and gives a bit of order to the daily chaos. I find that people with super laid back personalities who don't care much about things being very clean or organized tend to give this exaggerated feedback. And that's okay! It may be that way for them…it just doesn't mean that YOU can't. One person not being able to do it does not mean you are bound to follow suit. In addition, we have no TV or Netflix right now and used to not have internet…let me just tell you that LOTS of time seems to open up when those things are gone! And for them, it may be true: you have to prioritize. They may have a priority that is higher than a clean house (sometimes getting a nap in can be higher!!) and so it won't get done. But if you truly value that and it helps you get through the day, like me, you can do it. Will there be crazy messy and chaotic days that this plan totally fails? You bet! Will you sometimes say "heck with it" and let it go? SURE! But it helps lessen the stress if things are mostly caught up in general. Then you don't really have to deal with mountains of housework at a time, and if you do once in a while, it's not so bad because it's not a daily thing. You can still keep a clean home and have children. No not every second of every day, but you can keep some order, sometimes. :)
3. "Enjoy time with your husband now…" and you know the rest. "…'cause you will never have time with him once kids come…" Oh now what would they say if I told them I'm enjoying time with my husband these days…with a 6 month old in the house? It changed, yes. For a while at the beginning, there wasn't much time at all…It was survival mode! I cried when Philip went to work because I wanted to be with him so bad and because of what people had said I thought it was true…I was never going to have time again until our last baby was 18 and then I'd be a worrywart mother and still have no time. See the thing with survival mode is we are made to be in it sometimes, but it's not meant to be, nor does it need to be permanent. You get into your groove. You find your "new normal", as a wise Mommy told me. It's true! Children do not stay as needy as a 1 month old very long. Soon they learn to play, entertain themselves, sit up, watch TV, etc. It helps give you little breaks, get in a routine, and find that spark again that got you here in the first place. ;)
4. "You will never get to take a shower again…" Okay. I'll admit…this one had me going for a while! It was true for a short season, as all of these are. After all, that is what makes an exaggeration "an exaggeration"…some truth but placed at an extreme. I find this one hardest…I will go days without bathing if it means I can clean my house. HA! (Remember that part about prioritizing and picking what it is you really want/need to accomplish? Yeah, well cleanliness hasn't been real high on my list.) Dry shampoo has become my best friend, thanks to a sweet friend who gave me a bottle! It can make one dirty, oily head smell and look nice enough for public (and if you're lucky, nice enough to even get a few compliments!). Product plug here! It has saved me from having to shower on Sundays when I help lead worship, etc. As with the others, you find your groove! You may wear a lot of ponytails (and get lots of headaches, ha) but you will figure it out and you won't smell bad and look like a hot mess forever. :)
5. "Get ready…you won't have any time to yourself once you are a Mom!" Can I just say I believed this one at first too? I thought, "Oh no! no time to myself!" Then I laughed a little…I know at some point down the road after our family has grown more, I will be in the bathroom hiding behind a locked door for 5 minutes of peace. I'm not so naive that I think life will stay as easy as it is with one babe. But the funny thing was, as I thought about it more, I realized I don't really like a lot of time to myself! I never have! I hated when my birthday fell on a weekend because I wanted to be by people. I hated summer break in college because I hated being spread all over the US from my friends. I hated weeks when I had less hours at work as a teenager because I liked interacting with others. I did 90% of my college homework in the Lobby of my dorm because I wanted to be around people and not isolated while I worked. I hated living alone and having my own place all to me…because I just don't require a lot of "me time". Some people may require more, but this was just a case of me buying into something that really didn't really apply to my personality. Have I had as much time as I would before being a mom? No…but it doesn't mean I have NO time. Be cautious as advice and exaggerations are sent your way that you weigh and consider them with your personality and at the same time realize no one baby/situation/mommy are the same! And how boring would that be anyway? Don't be quick to make someone's opinion gold. Even if you love them and are close to them…don't question their motive much…they most likely mean well because they love you. Grain of salt.
To be transparent, the largest transition for me into Motherhood that I didn't hear mentioned to me much, if at all, was my own selfishness. No one event has ever shown me my own selfishness like having to wait on someone who can't understand when you try to explain that you are doing your best…that you have to remove your shirt before they can eat…that you haven't eaten in 24 hours and just need a quick granola bar…haven't peed yet and it's dinner time…I'm a little constipated but I'll have to finish this later. Because, for real, these are my actual experiences. They weren't every single day or every moment, but they happened and sometimes, they felt like it. They slapped me in the face. I was so used to, and so comfortable with meeting MY every need and want, waiting on MYSELF hand and foot, that it was incredibly stretching to give all that up to serve the babe. Love. That's what love is. It's what Christ did…made himself the lowest servant to serve us in Love. Not because we did ANYTHING for him or to deserve it…simply because He loved us.
These babies grow so fast. I've already wished to go back in time when Judah was content just to be in my arms and not be trying to "ride a horse" while I hold him and want to sit up and lunge at everything..I wish I had taken it all in a little more, and not been so afraid to sit and enjoy because I was worried about all the proposed "watch out!'s" that were bound to absolutely come my way.
Find YOUR groove. Find what God's called you to do and be in Your family, and don't look back. Love with all your heart, day in and day out and quit sweating the small stuff. Because each day counts. Realize that everything and nothing sometimes happens, but never always simultaneously. You got this. Be a proud Momma. You won't regret it!
Comments
Post a Comment