Enlightening Stress
I think the first time I experienced prolonged stress was when I had to suddenly say goodbye to my best friend. They did not die or anything like that, but when you are a girl and a guy becomes your best friend, it has the potential to cause severe heartache when they pursue a relationship with another girl. That was the first time I experienced stress to that degree, and also the first time I experienced depression. I always figured in the back of my mind that it was a potential outcome, but always held on to hope of something different. You have to keep hoping...when we get self-protective and shut out hope at every angle, life becomes very dark and horrid.
I learned at that intense time (almost two years long) that stress can be a motivator-to run to God. It's easy to float along in life when things seem fine or I'm on the latest "emotional high"- work's great, friendships are great, family is great, lots of awesome volunteer opportunities...but then when parts or all of life seems to crash, I have to run to God. It was literally my life line in that time. It strengthened me because I experienced God walking me through a deeply, DEEPLY, wounded heart. I was afraid I may become cynical or standoffish after that experience, but God continued to work in my heart preserving the childlike trust and hope He placed in it in the first place.
The last year of life has very much been a rollercoaster. I've had extreme moments of wonder and joy...I've had awful hurts and times of gut-wrenching pain and brokenness, and I've had awe-inspiring moments where I stand amazed in the presence of my Lord. I have learned much about myself as God has used life's circumstances to pull up a lot of junk in my life and run it through the fire and refine me. It hurts, but when the precious metals are pulled out of that fire without impurities, the pain is well worth it.
Life has had it's fair share of stress lately, but again my heart is turned toward Christ and I cherish the fact that through my pain and stress, He is purifying my heart and life. It will never be perfect but I certainly want and invite Him to come in and make me more like Him daily! The fact that He even desires to do this in our lives astounds me. We are so so incredibly loved.
As this next season of life begins, I look to Him. I release my troubles, my fears, my dreams, my aches, and my burdens to His more than capable hands and leave mine open to receive what He places in them. God, give me a greater capacity to love; give me a greater desire to serve; and give me a deeper passion to love You with.
I learned at that intense time (almost two years long) that stress can be a motivator-to run to God. It's easy to float along in life when things seem fine or I'm on the latest "emotional high"- work's great, friendships are great, family is great, lots of awesome volunteer opportunities...but then when parts or all of life seems to crash, I have to run to God. It was literally my life line in that time. It strengthened me because I experienced God walking me through a deeply, DEEPLY, wounded heart. I was afraid I may become cynical or standoffish after that experience, but God continued to work in my heart preserving the childlike trust and hope He placed in it in the first place.
The last year of life has very much been a rollercoaster. I've had extreme moments of wonder and joy...I've had awful hurts and times of gut-wrenching pain and brokenness, and I've had awe-inspiring moments where I stand amazed in the presence of my Lord. I have learned much about myself as God has used life's circumstances to pull up a lot of junk in my life and run it through the fire and refine me. It hurts, but when the precious metals are pulled out of that fire without impurities, the pain is well worth it.
Life has had it's fair share of stress lately, but again my heart is turned toward Christ and I cherish the fact that through my pain and stress, He is purifying my heart and life. It will never be perfect but I certainly want and invite Him to come in and make me more like Him daily! The fact that He even desires to do this in our lives astounds me. We are so so incredibly loved.
As this next season of life begins, I look to Him. I release my troubles, my fears, my dreams, my aches, and my burdens to His more than capable hands and leave mine open to receive what He places in them. God, give me a greater capacity to love; give me a greater desire to serve; and give me a deeper passion to love You with.
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