A Buffet of Thoughts...
Yes, that's right. A buffet. And for your reading pleasure, I'll even chunk up this entry into sections so you can meander through the line with your plate and decide if you want macaroni or potatoes. ;)
Teacher Thoughts: Yes, I'm a teacher. I love my job...I get to play and laugh with children all day while figuring out how to teach them things. It's a great mix of challenge and fun. As summer starts to wind down for me my mind is on my new class. I see faces in my mind of last year's 1st graders and wonder who will get picked to be in my room. I saw a student from my school at church tonight and it did my heart a world of good to hear "Miss V.!" and have a kid come up and hug me. Our school is doing an olympic theme, with possible countries as room themes. Sort of excited about that because I'm thinking I may be able to be Guatemala? Now, wouldn't THAT be fun! I thought I saw a student who had abruptly moved away from our school last November. I cried for a week after she left, knowing she was homeless, and not having food to eat, wondering if she was warm and taken care of, and if I'd ever get to hug her again. It sent that familiar pang through me when I miss a kiddo and don't know that I'll ever get to hug them again. Which brings me to the next entree:
Guatemala.
I wish I could explain or even understand myself when it comes to the ache inside me when I leave there. Not a day goes by I don't think of the orphanage, the missionaries, and the friends I have there. Sometimes I feel silly that I care so much...like it's weird or wrong for some reason, but I don't know that it is. I think part of it is how God has wired me-to love deeply. It comes so natural for me to do that, but it makes being separated from people I love so painful. The thing is, I'm constantly adding to that list of "people I love" and can't possibly be everywhere at once and there are people scattered all over the U.S. and in other countries that I dearly miss and love and since I'm not omnipresent, that is just how it's gonna be. I suppose I need to continually take up my cross and lay my life before the Lord and allow Him to use me wherever I am currently, and help me to be "all there." Whew. On to the fried chicken...
Christ.
Yes, he is the main course. :) But seriously, sometimes I'm overwhelmed by the love Jesus pours into me to pour into others. I feel almost like I can't even hold it and it's spilling out everywhere...but I guess that is how it should be, right? It's not all the time I sense this, it comes periodically, but I'm hitting one of those "In awe of God" seasons where everything seems to strike me as amazing and I just can't begin to wrap my mind around it. I'm in a season of self-realization-really learning who I am in Christ, a season of praying about my future and what it holds because I know there are some different things in the future than what life consists of now. It's a season where I wonder about the burdens people around me are carrying and want to help them carry it...a season where God is tearing down walls and building up others. It's also a season of healing. I have some heavy wounds I'm working through, some things that hurt me so deeply and truly rocked me to my core. God is dealing with them and teaching me with His gentle hand, but the process of healing sometimes takes longer than I'd like.
Hearts are so interesting to me. Not only from a physical standpoint, but the spiritual standpoint. Your heart pumps life into the rest of your body. It is the engine that sends oxygenated blood to every cell in you. They die, and quickly, without it. In the same sense, it's our spiritual core. No wonder the Word tells us to guard it-it also says it is the wellspring of life in that same verse. When God puts things in our hearts and when we allow His Word to saturate it, it flows to each part of us. In the same respect, when your heart is damaged, it affects every other part of you. I'm so thankful my Heavenly Father designed my heart, because as the designer, He knows just how to mend it when it's broken.
EMT.
So I passed my tests and am so glad for that! Still have another written one, but I know the Lord will go before me and help me as He has the entire way. I'm doing more ambulance time next week-about 24 hours worth. I'm very excited and get to train with an awesome medic. He is so respectful and great at what he does and it is an honor to work with him. I learn soo much! I want to help save a life. It's on my bucket list, and helping do medical things in emergency situations is planted somewhere deep in me. Kinda weird, huh? I cannot tell you how many people have given me strange looks or asked, "well, why are you doing that?" I don't really have a great answer except I love to help hurting people. Physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally....I just love to help. I also love to ease pain in all of these ways. I think about those things God planted in me, modeled after himself, of course, and wonder how much more He loves easing my pains and helping his "broken" and hurting people.
All of these ramblings to say there is just so much...I needed to get a bit of it out before I went crazy in my head. :) And I didn't even get into the missions stuff...that's for another time. So I don't know if anyone actually read this because I don't have a way of telling, but in a lot of ways it was just for me to get some thoughts down, but I hope and pray that something could be pulled out to encourage or lift you up as well.
Until next time...
Teacher Thoughts: Yes, I'm a teacher. I love my job...I get to play and laugh with children all day while figuring out how to teach them things. It's a great mix of challenge and fun. As summer starts to wind down for me my mind is on my new class. I see faces in my mind of last year's 1st graders and wonder who will get picked to be in my room. I saw a student from my school at church tonight and it did my heart a world of good to hear "Miss V.!" and have a kid come up and hug me. Our school is doing an olympic theme, with possible countries as room themes. Sort of excited about that because I'm thinking I may be able to be Guatemala? Now, wouldn't THAT be fun! I thought I saw a student who had abruptly moved away from our school last November. I cried for a week after she left, knowing she was homeless, and not having food to eat, wondering if she was warm and taken care of, and if I'd ever get to hug her again. It sent that familiar pang through me when I miss a kiddo and don't know that I'll ever get to hug them again. Which brings me to the next entree:
Guatemala.
I wish I could explain or even understand myself when it comes to the ache inside me when I leave there. Not a day goes by I don't think of the orphanage, the missionaries, and the friends I have there. Sometimes I feel silly that I care so much...like it's weird or wrong for some reason, but I don't know that it is. I think part of it is how God has wired me-to love deeply. It comes so natural for me to do that, but it makes being separated from people I love so painful. The thing is, I'm constantly adding to that list of "people I love" and can't possibly be everywhere at once and there are people scattered all over the U.S. and in other countries that I dearly miss and love and since I'm not omnipresent, that is just how it's gonna be. I suppose I need to continually take up my cross and lay my life before the Lord and allow Him to use me wherever I am currently, and help me to be "all there." Whew. On to the fried chicken...
Christ.
Yes, he is the main course. :) But seriously, sometimes I'm overwhelmed by the love Jesus pours into me to pour into others. I feel almost like I can't even hold it and it's spilling out everywhere...but I guess that is how it should be, right? It's not all the time I sense this, it comes periodically, but I'm hitting one of those "In awe of God" seasons where everything seems to strike me as amazing and I just can't begin to wrap my mind around it. I'm in a season of self-realization-really learning who I am in Christ, a season of praying about my future and what it holds because I know there are some different things in the future than what life consists of now. It's a season where I wonder about the burdens people around me are carrying and want to help them carry it...a season where God is tearing down walls and building up others. It's also a season of healing. I have some heavy wounds I'm working through, some things that hurt me so deeply and truly rocked me to my core. God is dealing with them and teaching me with His gentle hand, but the process of healing sometimes takes longer than I'd like.
Hearts are so interesting to me. Not only from a physical standpoint, but the spiritual standpoint. Your heart pumps life into the rest of your body. It is the engine that sends oxygenated blood to every cell in you. They die, and quickly, without it. In the same sense, it's our spiritual core. No wonder the Word tells us to guard it-it also says it is the wellspring of life in that same verse. When God puts things in our hearts and when we allow His Word to saturate it, it flows to each part of us. In the same respect, when your heart is damaged, it affects every other part of you. I'm so thankful my Heavenly Father designed my heart, because as the designer, He knows just how to mend it when it's broken.
EMT.
So I passed my tests and am so glad for that! Still have another written one, but I know the Lord will go before me and help me as He has the entire way. I'm doing more ambulance time next week-about 24 hours worth. I'm very excited and get to train with an awesome medic. He is so respectful and great at what he does and it is an honor to work with him. I learn soo much! I want to help save a life. It's on my bucket list, and helping do medical things in emergency situations is planted somewhere deep in me. Kinda weird, huh? I cannot tell you how many people have given me strange looks or asked, "well, why are you doing that?" I don't really have a great answer except I love to help hurting people. Physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally....I just love to help. I also love to ease pain in all of these ways. I think about those things God planted in me, modeled after himself, of course, and wonder how much more He loves easing my pains and helping his "broken" and hurting people.
All of these ramblings to say there is just so much...I needed to get a bit of it out before I went crazy in my head. :) And I didn't even get into the missions stuff...that's for another time. So I don't know if anyone actually read this because I don't have a way of telling, but in a lot of ways it was just for me to get some thoughts down, but I hope and pray that something could be pulled out to encourage or lift you up as well.
Until next time...
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